Saturday, September 17, 2005

So, my conclusion following my first night in a hostel:

Why, aside from money, would anyone ever choose to stay in one of these places? What a pain in the ass. People are loud and sceptical, the bed was uncomfortable, people (both in the hostel and the street) are drunk and noisy, the floorboards creak, the beds shake and squeak, the lights are bright -- gross. I'm on a top bunk which gave me the perfect height to smack my lower-bunk neighbor on the head when he 1. left the doors open, allowing lots of light in, 2. kept coming in and leaving, 3. sat on his bed every time he came in which shook mine. Unfortunately I didn't actually smack him, but it would've felt really good.

The best thing I can say is that the people who work here are friendly and it's relatively inexpensive, but I'm thinking it's worth it to spend the extra £8 so I can, oh, I don't know, sleep.

I saw 3:30am. That is not okay.

And so I got up this morning, waited for Sarah and Stephanie to get ready, and we went out for breakfast. Then we went and toured through a graveyard which was interesting. I got to chatting with the older gentleman at the gift shop and he told me great stories about the place. Then off to Edinburgh Castle which is stupid expensive but offers delightful views of the city. It's bitterly cold, gray, and windy today, which was appropriate for the graveyard but less nice for the castle.

Then we bought train tickets for Perth -- we leave tomorrow. I got a return ticket because... well. I'm exhausted. And the thought of traveling with two days in each place and running around trying to fit as much in as possible -- as Stephanie and Sarah are doing -- makes me want to sit down and not move. I get these incredible urges to turn into a five-year-old, sitting and pouting and refusing to get up.

The thing is... I'm really thinking I prefer to travel alone. Or with family. Or maybe just with one person, but in context, I'd rather be alone. I get a strong feeling like I'm either waiting for them to catch up or I'm racing to keep up with them. I have to compromise and work with their schedule which is drastically different from mine. I have to deal with their grouchy moods and tendencies towards Hippie-style healthiness (I had these visions of carousing around Scotland with Stephanie, touring through pubs, but she's off substances now, and so that kills that plan).

And I'm getting left out. I really have to work to be able to give input on plans, and that makes me feel like I'm being rude (which is ridiculous, I know, but that's the feeling I get). I get left out of conversations, when we went to the travel desk to ask questions, of little challenges with each other... I feel like I'm barely here.

So I think I'm going to part ways with them fairly soon.

I'm exhausted to the point where I'm thinking about settling down sooner. Finding a flat/bedsit and taking mid-week trips up north and to the west and wherever else. I don't know if I can afford to have a place AND travel, though. I'm starting to think it'd be worth it, though. Or maybe an extended-stay bed and breakfast? I'm not sure. But being in one place for a bit would be really lovely.

But for now, off to Perth. Tomorrow.

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